Aziz Versus a NASCAR F-bombing Legend
So here's the next one. This one is not from my fucking brother.
Oh you have something to say about this? You say well I don't know because I think it is nancy to ever care about feelings even if you are not busy. That is what you think? Well so here is a little story then for you to read so you can get a fucking clue. There once was an actor named Bruce Fucking Die Hard Willis who was in an Action/Thriller movie that maybe you have heard of? They call it the Fifth Element?
Yes. There were a lot of guns and explosions in this movie. But do you know what the fifth element was? Because you don't even find out until the end. It was love. And love shows her boobs at the beginning. So here is what my point is: This: Sometimes in movies emotions can destroy evil black spheres with Bruce Willis but sometimes they can make it so girls get so jealous and try to murder Aziz. You have to weigh the fucking pros and cons.
First, Aziz would be 2 fast and 2 furiously kicking Dale Earnhart's ghost's ass in the race even though he'd be driving with two flat tires due to spy sabotage. Yes. You better fucking believe it. But then, suddenly, he would slam on his breaks. Uh oh, because then oh shit the ghost would plow into Aziz's car. Car fire! You think oh so is Aziz okay? What do you fucking think of course he is okay he jumped out of his car just before the crash he is not crazy.
Man, Dale Earnhart Sr's ghost's car would be so messed up. Not drivable. In his ghost mind, he'd be thinking, "Hey. I used to be a very popular NASCAR driver, but now I'm a ghost and I've got evil haunting to do. I wish I could stop being a bad ghost but first I have to find the voodoo man who cursed my soul and made me a damned spirit i.e., like Hamlet's dad. In the meantime I am forced to spook people out. I just hope Dale Earnhart Junior can forgive me and start winning his own races." That is exactly the fuck what he did, too, but that is unrelated to Aziz.
So there's Aziz right, and he's going up against the ghost and maybe there's this slow, steady bass beating in the background to show that come on, this is a very tense situation. The camera would pan over to the people watching the race, and through the magic of movies the audience would understand the fear, utter desperation, happiness, etc. the crowd was feeling. One guy would even be crying like a baby. Yes. It would be that fuck Paul, visiting Bennetsville from Texas for some reason. And maybe he peed himself I'm not surprised.
So how is Aziz going to defeat something that is a ghost? Answer: Become a ghost his own self. Aziz would let the ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. bite his finger and the ghost virus would start to course through his veins. WTF! Is Aziz going to die? Hey Shitballs. No. He isn't. Just hold on a fucking second. I will tell you. This is my forum.
Get this: Aziz would start to die. Eh? He would look at his hand and see that woah, it is starting to turn transparent like when Michael J. Fox plays the guitar in Back to the Future. The ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. would see what was happening to Aziz and he would laugh and laugh. Well he won't be laughing long, that dickweed. His whispy ghost mind would think "I just made that Aziz guy turn into a ghost. He's not so tough. I don't know what all those vampires were talking about."
Except this!: Now that he is turning to a ghost, Aziz would run over to the ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. and Rocky-punch him right in the gut. The ghost of course would like, be hit so hard he would fly backwards and smack right into a wall. His ribs would be ghost broken. Then Dale would be all "But…But…! You can't hurt me! I'm a ghost! What's going on here?!"
Well I'll tell you what's going on, Mr. ghost of Dale Sr.: You see, you fucked up by making Aziz part ghost because now for some reason Aziz can hurt you. It is mysterious but it is true. Half ghost Aziz would calmly begin walking over to the ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr.. In the background, Jusify My Thug by Jay-Z would be playing and the audience would be thinking "You know, I'm not normally a big hip-hop fan, but I've got to say: Yes. Wow. This music is appropriate ass-kicking music that is absolutely perfect for this situation." The ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. would be so scared even though he's already dead. He'd be bruised and hurting and then he'd look up and see half-ghost Aziz walking towards him, wearing those big Maverick in Top Gun mirrored sunglasses.
Fuck, he'd know it's over. "Aziz! Aziz, come on man. There's got to be a way we can work this out. Please. Tell me. What are the chances we can just forget about this?" At first, half-ghost Aziz wouldn't say anything. He'd strike a match on the street and light a stogie. Hell, he is half dead anyway, right? Then, after like two puffs of the cigar, which was Cuban by the way which are best but illegal due to US trade restrictions, Aziz would say "Sorry. There's not a ghost of a chance!" And then he'd pick up the ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. and give him a pile driver right onto the street and ghost-break his neck. Yes. That is how you deal with evil spirits if you are Aziz.
The camera would be watching Aziz walk away, and he'd still be part seethrough. Oh so it's over? No. No it fucking isn't because Aziz would still be half-ghost and is that how you'd want to live your life? No. All of a sudden Aziz would whip around and oh my god he's had a fucking shotgun the whole time. He shoots once into the crowd that was still watching him, and the shotgun would hit this guy with like paint on his face and a bone through his nose, and we know he's the voodoo guy that started the ghost virus in the first place. Aziz would rematerialize all of a sudden and the audience would probably start cheering. And then the camera would quick-zoom close-up on his face, he'd wink and say, "I'm goin' home. I've got chicks to fuck."
OK, this question's been eating me up inside!Hello, Distressed. You have asked me a question about a sport that I don't fucking care about. Guess what that is strike one. Problem fuck-a-two: You asked me a question about how Aziz would react to other people's feelings. Counting time. 1: There is only one part in this site where Aziz has had the fucking time to care about other people's feelings. Answer: When he told the jungle boy he was brave after he made him be bait for that shit ass huge anaconda see post entitled think about this too but you will have to check the September archives because this is October. Normally Aziz is too busy saving our sweet nation to care about feelings. For Aziz, caring about feelings is probably like when you buy those shoes where you can click them together and then maybe a switchblade or something comes out at the end so you can foot-stab people. Yes. It is a luxury.
What if Aziz got into a 2 fast 2 furious situation
with the ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr? Of course he
could win the race, but how could he do it without
disenfranchising his hordes of bennetsville south
carolina fans?
Distressed in Darlington
Oh you have something to say about this? You say well I don't know because I think it is nancy to ever care about feelings even if you are not busy. That is what you think? Well so here is a little story then for you to read so you can get a fucking clue. There once was an actor named Bruce Fucking Die Hard Willis who was in an Action/Thriller movie that maybe you have heard of? They call it the Fifth Element?
Yes. There were a lot of guns and explosions in this movie. But do you know what the fifth element was? Because you don't even find out until the end. It was love. And love shows her boobs at the beginning. So here is what my point is: This: Sometimes in movies emotions can destroy evil black spheres with Bruce Willis but sometimes they can make it so girls get so jealous and try to murder Aziz. You have to weigh the fucking pros and cons.First, Aziz would be 2 fast and 2 furiously kicking Dale Earnhart's ghost's ass in the race even though he'd be driving with two flat tires due to spy sabotage. Yes. You better fucking believe it. But then, suddenly, he would slam on his breaks. Uh oh, because then oh shit the ghost would plow into Aziz's car. Car fire! You think oh so is Aziz okay? What do you fucking think of course he is okay he jumped out of his car just before the crash he is not crazy.
Man, Dale Earnhart Sr's ghost's car would be so messed up. Not drivable. In his ghost mind, he'd be thinking, "Hey. I used to be a very popular NASCAR driver, but now I'm a ghost and I've got evil haunting to do. I wish I could stop being a bad ghost but first I have to find the voodoo man who cursed my soul and made me a damned spirit i.e., like Hamlet's dad. In the meantime I am forced to spook people out. I just hope Dale Earnhart Junior can forgive me and start winning his own races." That is exactly the fuck what he did, too, but that is unrelated to Aziz.
So there's Aziz right, and he's going up against the ghost and maybe there's this slow, steady bass beating in the background to show that come on, this is a very tense situation. The camera would pan over to the people watching the race, and through the magic of movies the audience would understand the fear, utter desperation, happiness, etc. the crowd was feeling. One guy would even be crying like a baby. Yes. It would be that fuck Paul, visiting Bennetsville from Texas for some reason. And maybe he peed himself I'm not surprised.
So how is Aziz going to defeat something that is a ghost? Answer: Become a ghost his own self. Aziz would let the ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. bite his finger and the ghost virus would start to course through his veins. WTF! Is Aziz going to die? Hey Shitballs. No. He isn't. Just hold on a fucking second. I will tell you. This is my forum.
Get this: Aziz would start to die. Eh? He would look at his hand and see that woah, it is starting to turn transparent like when Michael J. Fox plays the guitar in Back to the Future. The ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. would see what was happening to Aziz and he would laugh and laugh. Well he won't be laughing long, that dickweed. His whispy ghost mind would think "I just made that Aziz guy turn into a ghost. He's not so tough. I don't know what all those vampires were talking about."
Except this!: Now that he is turning to a ghost, Aziz would run over to the ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. and Rocky-punch him right in the gut. The ghost of course would like, be hit so hard he would fly backwards and smack right into a wall. His ribs would be ghost broken. Then Dale would be all "But…But…! You can't hurt me! I'm a ghost! What's going on here?!"
Well I'll tell you what's going on, Mr. ghost of Dale Sr.: You see, you fucked up by making Aziz part ghost because now for some reason Aziz can hurt you. It is mysterious but it is true. Half ghost Aziz would calmly begin walking over to the ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr.. In the background, Jusify My Thug by Jay-Z would be playing and the audience would be thinking "You know, I'm not normally a big hip-hop fan, but I've got to say: Yes. Wow. This music is appropriate ass-kicking music that is absolutely perfect for this situation." The ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. would be so scared even though he's already dead. He'd be bruised and hurting and then he'd look up and see half-ghost Aziz walking towards him, wearing those big Maverick in Top Gun mirrored sunglasses.
Fuck, he'd know it's over. "Aziz! Aziz, come on man. There's got to be a way we can work this out. Please. Tell me. What are the chances we can just forget about this?" At first, half-ghost Aziz wouldn't say anything. He'd strike a match on the street and light a stogie. Hell, he is half dead anyway, right? Then, after like two puffs of the cigar, which was Cuban by the way which are best but illegal due to US trade restrictions, Aziz would say "Sorry. There's not a ghost of a chance!" And then he'd pick up the ghost of Dale Earnhart Sr. and give him a pile driver right onto the street and ghost-break his neck. Yes. That is how you deal with evil spirits if you are Aziz.
The camera would be watching Aziz walk away, and he'd still be part seethrough. Oh so it's over? No. No it fucking isn't because Aziz would still be half-ghost and is that how you'd want to live your life? No. All of a sudden Aziz would whip around and oh my god he's had a fucking shotgun the whole time. He shoots once into the crowd that was still watching him, and the shotgun would hit this guy with like paint on his face and a bone through his nose, and we know he's the voodoo guy that started the ghost virus in the first place. Aziz would rematerialize all of a sudden and the audience would probably start cheering. And then the camera would quick-zoom close-up on his face, he'd wink and say, "I'm goin' home. I've got chicks to fuck."
posted by Prince Fontaine at 10:29 PM
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