Epilogue to Previous Post
Do you think giant vampire bats are just going to let Aziz and the chesty girl walk out of the cave without trying to eat them?! No. They are not. They would try to eat them. But guess what would be happening five minutes after the vampire bats attacked them? Did you guess this?: The vampire bats would be dead because of Aziz and then Aziz would then be taking a break from leaving the cave just so he could skin the bats and make a bat-fur coat for his new gal. Does that seem mean to the bats? Well it was self defense. If the bats had been as smart as people or dolphins, they would have known that Aziz isn't somebody you want to try drinking the fucking blood of.
But here is the sad and unfortunate part of what would have happened if Aziz went into a cave that was filled with vampire bats and went like to the center of the Earth: The ample-bosomed girl psychologist who doesn't even care about the lyrics in Kanye West's Diamonds From Seirra Leone remix featuring Jay-Z would get greedy and want all of the diamonds for herself because she is a Gold Digger featuring Jamie Foxx. She would want them so bad because maybe her history is that two years ago she had fiance who couldn't afford to buy her a diamond ring but then just when he was about to buy her a ring he was murdered. Women.
So what would happen is, just when they're about to get out of the cave, the breast girl would take this Kabar knife and threaten to cut the rope that Aziz is climbing. What, is she is stupid as a bat or something? Aziz would say, "Go ahead and cut the fucking rope, Ms. Tits. Cause I never loved you." She'd cry and cut the rope, but Aziz would already be clinging to the cave walls and be climbing up the steep cave hole by hand(!). But Aziz had hurt her pride, and the curvy psychologist would be looking for rocks to dump onto Aziz to get him to die. Finally, she'd pick up a big rock to chuck at him, but then when she lifted it over her head she'd teeter over and fall into the deep, deep cave. But oh no, because as she fell, her Kabar would probably fall straight towards Aziz like a sharp dagger. He'd catch it in his fucking mouth. And then, later, he'd have that same kabar in an Anaconda's skull. And later at Rambo's neck. Aziz would carry the Kabar as a reminder never to trust anyone. Because people will fuck you over, man, and it's a lesson that life won't let you learn twice.
But here is the sad and unfortunate part of what would have happened if Aziz went into a cave that was filled with vampire bats and went like to the center of the Earth: The ample-bosomed girl psychologist who doesn't even care about the lyrics in Kanye West's Diamonds From Seirra Leone remix featuring Jay-Z would get greedy and want all of the diamonds for herself because she is a Gold Digger featuring Jamie Foxx. She would want them so bad because maybe her history is that two years ago she had fiance who couldn't afford to buy her a diamond ring but then just when he was about to buy her a ring he was murdered. Women.
So what would happen is, just when they're about to get out of the cave, the breast girl would take this Kabar knife and threaten to cut the rope that Aziz is climbing. What, is she is stupid as a bat or something? Aziz would say, "Go ahead and cut the fucking rope, Ms. Tits. Cause I never loved you." She'd cry and cut the rope, but Aziz would already be clinging to the cave walls and be climbing up the steep cave hole by hand(!). But Aziz had hurt her pride, and the curvy psychologist would be looking for rocks to dump onto Aziz to get him to die. Finally, she'd pick up a big rock to chuck at him, but then when she lifted it over her head she'd teeter over and fall into the deep, deep cave. But oh no, because as she fell, her Kabar would probably fall straight towards Aziz like a sharp dagger. He'd catch it in his fucking mouth. And then, later, he'd have that same kabar in an Anaconda's skull. And later at Rambo's neck. Aziz would carry the Kabar as a reminder never to trust anyone. Because people will fuck you over, man, and it's a lesson that life won't let you learn twice.
posted by Prince Fontaine at 10:19 PM
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