Further Discussion

So now I'll discuss what would happen if Aziz Ansari decided to go into this huge cave that was filled with bats and was so big that it led down to the center of the earth (hot).

If Aziz went to the cave mentioned above, he'd go with a crew of 6-7 others. These people would be experts on things like bats, caves, the center of the earth, psychology, and climbing probably. But they wouldn't be there because Aziz needed them to come. He could go into the fucking cave by himself, for all he cares. No, they'd be with him because the rich tycoon who'd be funding the cave exploration would insist that if Aziz went, he went with experts. Of course, these people would only slow Aziz down and plus one of them would be a spy for the tycoon, but Aziz would know this and you know he's used to others slowing him down anyway.

In the cave that's full of bats and toxic fumes (forgot to mention that above), everybody would be using ropes to go farther and deeper into the caves. It would be so dark. But Aziz would have thought ahead, and even though the cave expert "forgot" to bring those helmets with the flashlights on them (because he is the tycoon's spy, that is why), Aziz would have remembered and brought enough for everybody to wear. Everybody would wear different color hats so the audience could distinguish who is who.

One by one, the team members would die in the cave for a combination of reasons. Here's one reason: The spy was trying to kill everybody so they wouldn't get to share the profits from the diamonds that are hidden in the center of the Earth. Here's the other reason: They would ignore Aziz's advice. Aziz would say, "Stick by me if you want to live and don't go off alone by yourselves because the bats here are way bigger than normal bats and they can pick you up and suck out all of your blood in like one big gulp. Also, there are pits here that you could fall into." Except the psychology expert would be a girl with big bosoms and Aziz would save her very life. She'd start to fall in love with him, and the audience would be all like "is there something going on here? I think she likes him." The only other person to survive would be the cave expert spy.

Finally, it would start to get super hot in the cave and the diamond detector would be go off the charts. They'd be at the center of the Earth!! They tycoon's spy would get the large breasted psychology expert and threaten to push her into the Earth's core if Aziz didn't let him have all of the diamonds. Aziz would say, "Okay, just don't hurt her," but just when the Spy guy thought he was safe, Aziz would give his infamous war cry and throw his shoe at the man. Cave shoes have spikes on the bottom of them and one of the spikes would hit the spy in the eye and he'd cry out and fall into the Earth's core. Then the psychology expert would say "Aziz, I've always loved you," and he'd say "We are going to make love then." But first they would take the diamonds and climb out of the cave. Aziz would say, "Great. I've got to do this with only one shoe." They'd both laugh, and then the credits would come.