Think about this too

Going back to all about how Aziz would have killed an Anaconda, I was thinking about how he'd go about it. Because you know it would be in a way that would make the audience (you) gasp. We'd see it and our eyes would open so wide and our jaws would drop and we'd think, "I can't believe he's doing it this way, but now that I think about it, this makes perfect sense. Yes, this is how Aziz Ansari would kill a shit ass huge anaconda. This is no other way for him." If you ask me, knowing what I know about Aziz, it'd probably be something like taking a kid from the jungle village and using him as fucking bait to kill the anaconda so like just when the anaconda thinks it's about to swallow a defenseless boy, and we see a twinkle of evil in the snakes tongue (that's how they see), Aziz jumps on the anaconda from above with this red war paint on him and with his teeth bared and his arms outstretched. Plus he'd be war crying. Right as he pounced, he'd impale the anaconda in the head with his Kabar knife and maybe its tail would thrash around before he finally died. The bait boy would be all crying and scared, but Aziz would calmly go up to the snake and say "Hey, don't worry about it, kid. I've never seen nobody so brave as you," except he'd say it in a jungle language so the kid could understand him cause that's what the kid speaks. And maybe the audience didn't even know that Aziz knew the fucking jungle language before he even said that. Then, of course, the boy would go home and Aziz would camoflauge himself in Anaconda blood to hide from Rambo First Blood like in my last post.