Aziz Ansari Is A Fucking Badass IV

It's a good thing John Rambo didn't have to go up against Aziz Ansari. Picture...THIS: Rambo, greased up and angry, has this total bazooka. He's in the jungle. He's got one mission: kill Aziz Ansari with a bazooka. As Rambo makes his way ever deeper into the jungle, the forest gets thicker and thicker. "He could be anywhere," thinks Rambo First Blood. But Aziz isn't anywhere. He's right the fuck behind Rambo with like a kabar or something right at Rambo's neck. And then Rambo would be all like, "Good work, Aziz. You got me. I only ask that you make it quick." But Aziz would go, "I'm not going to kill you, Mr. Rambo. You represent movies in Reagan-era America, and that's something that I'm just ready to lose." And saying that would totally break down the fourth wall, and in such a fucking badass way. Also, Aziz would have covered himself in Anaconda blood to disguise himself. Anaconda blood that he got himself by killing one!!